Just for Fun
Imagine that there is a bank that credits your account each
morning with £86,400. You cannot carry money over to the next day and each
night, whatever you have left is deleted. What would you do? Draw every penny of
course!
Well, each of us has such a bank: its name is time.
- Every morning, we are credited with 86,400 seconds and every night, whatever is left that we have failed to invest to good purpose is written off.
- We cannot carry time over to the next day and we cannot borrow time.
- If we fail to use the day's deposit, the loss is ours. There is no going back.
- There is no drawing against the 'tomorrow'. We must live in the present day's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success.
The clock is running, so make the most of today.
______________________________Go to Top of Page______________________________
Points to Ponder
- Each day is rich - enjoy it
- Each day is yours - use it
- Each minute passes and will never return - remember it
- Each second is your life - savour it
Definitions
- Optimism: An optimist is someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going her way.
- Satisfaction: If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.
- Experience: Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
- Business: We are all manufacturers: some make good, some make trouble and others make excuses.
______________________________Go to Top of Page______________________________
PERSON WANTED
Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and sometimes 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy and/or snowy weekends. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
- RESPONSIBILITIES: Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until the next fun activity. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the other end of the room are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and co-ordinate production of multiple projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable until the time comes to move on. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million "things" made from fun foam, wood, string, wiggly eyes, feathers, glue and such like. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
- HOURS OF WORK: Variable - ranges from 1.5 hours per week to every available waking moment
- POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, dealing with individuals of different ages at different times, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
- PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required. On-the-job training offered on a continually exciting basis. Training sessions also available, to be taken with a wide variety of people in exactly the same position you are
- OTHER QUALIFICATIONS: must have a dining room table to give to Guiding, as well as bookcases, space for boxes, craft supplies, camp supplies, and other paraphernalia.
- WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Money-wise - none. This is offset by smiles, hugs and tears, either your own or those of the people in your charge.
- BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
______________________________Go to Top of Page______________________________
You know you are a Guider when
- most of your wardrobe is navy blue
- buying a winter coat, a handbag or a pair of shoes you always look at navy ones first
- you keep a bucket of water by your side while cooking a barbecue
- you spontaneously break into strange songs in public
- you carry your own toilet paper wherever you go
- your radio is always tuned to the weather station
- you buy magazines you don't read because they have a craft idea in them
- you explain to complete strangers in supermarkets just why you are buying so many Smarties, lollypops, cheap sausages, night lights, marshmallows, felt tip pens, matches etc
- you carry a dufflebag size first-aid kit in your car
- you horde the cleanup towels from fast food takeaways
- your purse is full of old battered till slips for things you forgot to claim back the money for
- you know 365 "one pot" meals
- you buy your shampoo in little tiny bottles, then wash and keep the bottles
- you wash and save yoghurt pots and margarine tubs until they fall out of every cupboard
- everything in your cupboard says "Instant, just add water"
- you really do use those emergency sewing kits
- you know 100 uses for a scarf
- you have a collection of used candles
- you hear someone say "I used to be a Girl Guide" and you get her to volunteer in your unit
- you cringe when on a family picnic someone "walks on the table"
- you know you have brothers/sisters all over the world
- other people's "awkward" teenagers are fine with you and ask your advice
- you forget and put your hand in the air in a business meeting to quieten everyone down
- you know more than two ways to light a fire
- your handbag contains plasters, safety pins, a notebook, string, money for the phone and clean tissues/hanky
- you save all your birthday cards and Christmas cards
- you light barbecues with punk - not firelighters
- your holiday allowance is given up for 20 kids your partner/husband doesn't know
- you go to craft fairs not to buy, but to get ideas
- you know 10 ways of getting a cork out of a bottle without a corkscrew
- you are the only one at the scene of an accident who is prepared to try to help
- other peoples lost children in crowded shops always find you
- if you only remember one birthday, it's the 22nd of February
- you always collect leaflets and brochures wherever you go in case it would be suitable for your unit
- you don't understand why other people find running children's parties so stressful
______________________________Go to Top of Page______________________________
This is why I am a Guider
(sung to the tune of "John Brown's Body)
I went along to Guides just to help them out one
day
I must have done a decent job, as I was asked to stay
I really didn't have the time to do the job just right
But the Guiders all assured me that it only took one night
Chorus: This is why I am a Guider
This is why I am a
Guider
This is why I am a
Guider
'Cos the others all
assured me it would only take one night
The District meeting came along and I was asked
to go
It's sad to say the treasurer was ill and didn't show
So I was asked to do the job and I replied I might
'Cos the others all assured me it would only take one night
One day the new Commissioner saw me putting up a
tent
She said with great relief "You must be heaven sent
I need a Camp Adviser and I know your time is tight
But I really do assure you it will only take one night"
I've been so long in uniform my blood is navy
blue
My friends and neighbours think I'm mad and may be so do you
But I'm so proud and happy I'd complain with all my might
If my many jobs in Guiding really only took one night
